My Turning Point
Though my life wasn’t good by any means, I felt happy to have a family. My gang members gave me the community I thought I wanted. They understood me. They didn’t judge me. And I thought they would always have my back. Then one night during a party, I learned the truth about my “family.”
A few of the members and myself attended a local party. We didn’t know at the time that inside another gang was also at the party. They outnumbered us but I wasn’t scared. I walked around that party like I was better than them. My fellow gang members stuck around a little but eventually they
tried to leave. Before I knew it a fight broke out between us and my “family” took off leaving me alone. I called for them to come back, but no one responded.
In my head I thought, “Who needs them. I’ll take this whole gang on by myself.” I began to fight but was quickly grabbed by multiple enemies. They beat and stabbed me several times. I stumbled outside where I saw my homies who stood by and watched me get destroyed. I wasn’t angry at first because the adrenaline was still rushing through my body. I tried to get them to go back inside and fight with me and that’s when they pointed out that I was covered in blood and had been stabbed. At this point they ran from me again and that’s when I understood they weren’t my family. I had rage inside me now and I wanted people to pay. I went back inside the party to get my revenge, but I was stabbed several more times in my stomach and back.
I’m not sure how I escaped but I did. As I was bleeding out from all my wounds, I stopped a car driving by and forced myself in. They drove me to some paramedics and I then passed out. Suddenly, a sting came across my face. The paramedics told me if I didn’t stay awake, I would die. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do remember that my hatred for my enemies and my own gang now kept me raging inside. I told myself that when I got out of the hospital, I would kill everyone from that
night that hurt me.
The Real Fight
My mother was brought into the hospital and told that I might not make it. Even if I did make it, doctors told her I would be in a wheelchair and possibly never walk again. She felt sorrow for me, but I could only feel hatred. I didn’t acknowledge what actions I took to get me to this point, I only blamed others for it. By the grace of God, I was released from the hospital and after months of healing physically, I was able to walk and use my body as normal. It was during this time that church members from my youth would come and pray over me. They would spend time with me and help how they could.
Though my body was beginning to heal, my emotions were not. I thought about revenge constantly. I planned how I would go after my old gang and my enemies. At this point, the church members had invited me to a retreat. At the retreat I learned more about Jesus Christ and his love for me. I
questioned the Christians and said, “How could Jesus love me? Do you know what I’ve done?” After that retreat I knew I wanted what Jesus Christ was offering me. I decided to become born again. A new person in Christ. This is where the real fight started.
After returning home, I no longer had the desire to kill my enemies, but I did have my addiction to the drugs still. I would go to church, pray with people, but then do drugs right after. I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to stop it. My life felt fake and empty. To add to that, my old gang heard I survived, and they came looking for me. I told them I didn’t want to be a part of them anymore and that made them turn on me. They decided they wanted me dead. The rival gang from the party also heard I survived and they wanted to come finish me off as well.
With so many enemies coming for me, I decided to leave town. I went to a different municipality but I ran into another gang that wanted to fight me. During this fight I was arrested by the police. I thought all my past crimes would come back to haunt me, but strangely I was released shortly after the arrest. I found a ride home and began meditating on how God had spared me from my enemies and jail time. When I got home, I got on my knees and told God I needed him in my life and that he could use me for his glory. I can’t explain what happened, but in that moment all my hatred and addictions disappeared.
Jesus and Lilly together with their 3 children are serving with VIDA Impact Missions in Son Luis de la Paz, Mexico.